One of the most basic but nonetheless important skills you have to master as a stoic is to distinguish between those things that are in our power, and those that are not¹. In the quote above, the term "external" refers to things beyond our power, beyond our exclusive control. Obviously, this refers to material stuff like money, cars, houses, and other properties. Less obviously, it also refers to immaterial stuff like social status, social relations, and other circumstances. It could become a bit confusing, however, when you find out that one's own body and health are also considered externals. In the strictest sense, even most of what is going in one's head is just happening to us; thoughts, impressions and ideas simply appear to the consciousness with us only having the illusion of having explicitly conjured them. What remains, then? The capacity of rational choice, prohairesis! This is the only thing that truly belongs to us because—as opposed to all other elements I listed—cannot be lost or taken away. All that is material or embodied can be destroyed and will eventually perish, and all the immaterial circumstances depend on other's people choices, and are therefore beyond our power.²

In a more relaxed understanding, we can say that we have under our control the capacity of choice and all other things that directly depend on it, like opinions, beliefs, desires, aversions and actions. Even though I might have a spontaneously formed opinion on something or a spontaneous desire to, say, order some delicious food, I can still override them by exercising the prohairetic power. However, I would go too far if I say that the results of my actions are under my control. For instance, one of the aims of this post is for me to share my understanding about stoicism. While I can do my best working on the draft, success after publication depends entirely on external circumstances.

Once we establish that something is beyond our control, we must regard it as indifferent. This is another important concept, which in the introductory meme is suggested by the "don't care" part. It really means that something is neither good nor bad, that it doesn't matter from a moral standpoint, and shall make no difference to our well-being. One may very well care strongly about an indifferent thing, but it is a serious mistake to see it as good or bad.³ To understand why, we need to understand some basic facts about human nature and psychology.

It is in our nature to desire and seek what we deem good; and to fear and avoid what we deem bad. If we fail to do so in either cases, the consequence is inevitable: from disappointment and disconfort to anguish, misery, and despair. Therefore, if we want to avoid suffering, we must seek only what can be found and avoid only what is avoidable; in other words, those within our power. If everything we regard as good or bad is indeed in our power, then we'll always be able to satisfy our desires and aversions and we'll be happy.

Again, this doesn't mean that we should simply forgo external things or avoid trying anything that is at least somewhat uncertain. Rather, we should learn to rationally handle what's beyond our power, responding to each situation according to our possibilities. As an example, think about health, which I mentioned before is an external and therefore neither good nor bad. The human body degrades with aging, and is vulnerable to all kinds of pathogens and environmental conditions. That doesn't mean I shouldn't "care" about about my health. To some extent, I have an important influence on my health: I can eat well, I can exercise, but I can still get sick. If that happens, I can go to the doctor, be a good patient and take the prescribed treatment.

Next, we need to examine another important distinction: that between real things and events that we experience on the one hand, and our mental representations of them on the other. The former are externals and indifferent while the latter depend entirely on us. If I make the mistake of representing an external thing or event as bad, terrible, unfortunate, horrible, or some other negative qualification, it will be this representation that produces the pain and suffering, not the external itself. To give a personal example, I occasionally feel pain and disconfort in my chest due to a former condition, and currently I also have persistent ringing in my ears (tinnitus). The normal reaction is to be concerned, even afraid that these symptoms might reveal more serious problems. However, this is not only unhelpful, but actively detrimental and conducive to further anxiety. The correct reaction is to see these kinds of issues as natural events that can occur to anyone, and will occur more and more as we age. What we can do is listen to those that know better—the doctors. In my case, there is basically nothing I can do, so I try to simply accept these things as unavoidable facts of my daily life, outside of my control.

The "estimates" we develop about things are initially spontaneous. Remember: most of the things in our heads happen automatically, without conscious input or control. That's why it is important to routinely examine our judgments, lest we fall in the terrible traps described in the foregoing sections. Let's say your parents got sick and you realize they will die some day, which makes you very sad: "this is terrible, I will lose the people that brought me into the world and that love me so much." Then you realize, as a stoic apprentice, that you made the mistake of judging externals (someone's life) from a moral perspective, so you revoke the original, bad estimate. You remember that death is a natural and inevitable event for any living being and this is something beyond your control. Therefore, death is not something bad or something to be afraid of.

I'm sure all this might sound like saying you can magically wish away all your problems. You might object that changing how you react to some disturbance or distraction is not really possible, that it's like saying "If you are depressed, just stop being so sad." First of all, it's worth noting that Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) shares some fundamental principles with stoicism. CBT is a psychotherapy method with scientifically proven efficacy and is widely used in the treatment of depression and other mental health issues. In particular, the general idea that thoughts and beliefs (cognition) shape desires and aversions which in turn drive our behavior is common to both CBT and stoicism.

Changing your mindset or your thought patterns is difficult indeed, as we are creatures of habit that generally oppose change. This means that you must continuously practice the examination of your implicit judgments and revoke the bad ones. Eventually, it will become more likely to form correct judgments in the first place.

Something that adds to the difficulty is that different situations require different thought patterns. I remember how Epictetus compared the shattering of a nice drinking cup to the death of a close relative. While these events might be equivalent for a wise master of philosophy, for us bear no similarity and have to handled very differently.

This was the first article wherein I tried to explain in detail some stoic concepts. I didn't elaborate on the examples, but I might do so in other essays where we'll focus on a topic instead of the general principles.

To summarize, here are some actions you can try when feeling distressed, worried or perhaps overwhelmed:

• remember that the source of the distress is within you, and it is only triggered (not generated) by something external
• try to find out why are you reacting negatively; try to uncover incorrect assumptions or beliefs about the nature of the external thing
• challenge and revoke the false beliefs
• focus on what depends on you; the good and bad can be found only within